Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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