two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Randomize
