what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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