Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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