you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
