when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
