in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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