so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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