i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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