The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
