question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
