call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Randomize
