So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Randomize