that's an acceptable place to lick
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
