why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
