hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize