So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
