Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
