Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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