My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
