remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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