Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize