then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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