I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
