once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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