i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
