My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
