So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize