I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
