One girl and one boy is just not enough.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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