I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
