Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
