Apparently you make a good broom.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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