After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
