Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
