I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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