mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
we're so committed to being not committed
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