Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Will exercising make me less horny?
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