1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
