I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
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