awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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