My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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