if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
