Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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