I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize