Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
