oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
