I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize