you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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