Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
