so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize