i just sent this text using only my big toe
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
