I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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