look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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