Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
All the doctor said was why
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
