Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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