yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
