Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize