We got so high we made milksteak
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
