apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
