lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
