So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
