The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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