So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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