So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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